Photo by Wyxina Tresse on Unsplash
I thought I was pregnant.
For a moment,
you were as real to me as
the ten toes I’d already imagined,
and the thought of you on my chest.
And maybe you were real.
Maybe you were more than a
barely visible line
on a test in the trash.
Or the symptoms I felt,
or the hope I held,
for a moment.
Maybe you had touched my womb
as quickly as you left it.
Graced me with your presence
for a moment.
But maybe not?
How do you grieve someone you
aren’t sure existed?
What do you do when sadness
has no place to land?
All you have is
Three faint lines
that may have told a lie.
ICYMI
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Won’t heaven be full of surprises? 🤍
Thank you for this, Brittany. I’ve had two very early losses in the last year and didn’t even have access to a pregnancy test before the dream was gone. But I know they were there and even this strange grief matters. Thank you for naming it so beautifully.