September Recs | Feeling Weak + a Podcast Interview
I’m learning that if my weaknesses lead me to lay at my Savior’s feet—to beg him for answers and wisdom, to lament to him in my suffering, or to simply rest at the foot of his throne when I feel deple
Hey friends,
Can you believe I just bought yet another ice pack? Added to my collection of ice packs for my neck, shoulders, upper back, lower back, and groin (yep, it’s a glamorous life) is now one for my hips and bum. Sometimes, when I’m rolling Icy Hot gel all over my neck and lower back, I think about my aching thighs and ankles and how my hips feel heavy with pain and I fantasize about slipping into a full bodysuit of Icy Hot. I will be the first person to buy this if one of you invents it.
It just doesn’t seem to matter, though. Even through all the Icy Hot, lidocaine patches, physical therapy, and ice, heat, repeat in the world I’m still in this achy body with its grinding groin and popping hips. These things can’t take away the fact that my body is breaking down under the weight of this broken earth. I’m keenly aware that I can’t numb my physical weakness. It’s always there, lingering.
But it’s not just my body, it’s my mind, too. I try to remember things like drinking water, gulping down electrolytes, taking supplements and vitamins and I can’t seem to do it. I swat away the OCD thoughts which harass me like the mosquitoes in my back yard. I fight to grasp at words in a conversation with a friend or in a moment of discipline with my son but it feels like walking through thick, day-old, mashed potatoes. What are words? Why can’t I focus? What do I even say in this situation?
Which leads me to the other way I sense my own weakness lately—in motherhood. I often feel at a loss for words, more than that—wisdom. I can’t figure out how to get my four-year-old to eat something more than Ritz crackers and Chex Mix let alone how to help him through his fear, or his anger. How do I help him see God in all of this? How do I help him understand the gospel? Am I doing anything right with him, Lord? Why does this all feel so hard? These questions and laments are perched on my heart as I go about my days feeling oh so ill-equipped—so weak.
I’m learning that if my weaknesses lead me to lay at my Savior’s feet—to beg him for answers and wisdom, to lament to him in my suffering, or to simply rest at the foot of his throne when I feel depleted spiritually, physically, or emotionally—then maybe I can be content with my weaknesses. Maybe the whole point is to rest in Christ, again and again, every day. After all, Scripture reminds me that it is he who is strong, not me. And what a gift it is that we can bring all our weaknesses to the God who sympathizes with us in our weakness.
Will you rest before his throne today? I’ll see you there.
—Brittany
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These words though:
“There may be some sins of which a man cannot speak, but there is no sin which the blood of Christ cannot wash away.” — C.H. Spurgeon
Q: How’s the book coming along?
If you didn’t know, I am writing a book to encourage women who are walking through miscarriage. And it’s nearly finished! Crazy. I just finished the final edits and one last read-through before it goes to the Copy Editor. It’s been truly a labor of love to write this book. I can’t wait for it to be in the hands of the women who need reminders of their Good Shepherd who weeps with them.
Got a question about something? Whether it’s about theology, gardening, flowers, motherhood, writing, miscarriage, marriage, chronic illness, or anything in between, I’d love to answer one or two in my next newsletter. Just click on the button below and shoot me a message.
Recent Articles + Poems:
Don’t Believe These Four Lies About Spiritual Abuse on Core Christianity
Lessons from My Garden on the blog
From the Archives:
Bow Before the Omnipotent God on the blog
I had such a lovely conversation with the ladies from the Grow in Grace podcast. We chatted about miscarriage, suffering, church hurt, and how God’s goodness is unchanging through it all. Listen here.
Books I Finished:
*Bit of a disclaimer: I love to share what I'm reading with you guys, but please don't take that as an endorsement of every word written in every book I share.
The Overnight Guest by Heather Gudenkauf
Current Reads:
You might notice some of these have been on here a while. Mothering two little boys and writing a book has significantly decreased my time to sit down and read. It's a season. I'm embracing it and look forward to being able to read more again soon.
Embodied Hope by Kelly M. Kapic
He Is Strong by Emily Jensen
Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker
The Lake House by Kate Morton
The Lord is My Courage by K.J. Ramsey
Counterfeit Kingdom by Holly Pivec
The Wolf in Their Pockets by Chris Martin
God is Still Good by Katie Faris
The Soul in Paraphrase by Leland Ryken
Into His Presence by Tim Chester
Blessed by Nancy Guthrie
The Son of David by Nancy Guthrie
Speaking of books, one of my dearest friends, Lara d’Entremont, wrote a book! I Had the opportunity to read it in advance and it is so beautifully written. If you’re a mom who battles anxiety this book is for you. Cala Press is a new publisher so they are raising support for this project. You can support Lara by giving here. Those who give $50 will receive a copy of the book once it comes out.
Hey, Here's What I Recommend:
Book: My friend Emily Jensen sent me an advance copy of her new book He is Strong and it’s been a balm to my soul in this season where I sense my weakness every day, whether in motherhood or chronic pain. If you feel weak, this devotional is for you. Preorder it here.
Song: You’ll Lead Me Through by The Lowly Heirs
Podcast: Abundance 02: I Don’t Have Enough Time—An Interview with Gretchen Saffles on Risen Motherhood
Articles, Poems, and Essays I Liked:
Is HGTV Harming Our Hospitality by Lara d’Entremont on Christianity Today
Lifetimes in Landscapes by Brianna Lambert
How Jesus Wanted Us to Read His Gospel by Ashley Anthony on For The Church
For Funsies:
- If you suffer from rosacea or something similar, give this facial cleanser a try. I’ve been using it for years now and it’s the only cleanser I’ve found that keeps my skin balanced.
- I recently bought these Chelsea boots from Target and I'm excited to wear them this fall.
- This Slow Cooker Pork Loin Chile Verde is a new fave recipe for sure. Don’t skip the fresh jalapeño and cilantro. We ate ours in bowls or flour tortillas with cilantro lime rice.
We have a FOUR year old! We had a little party with family a couple weeks ago to celebrate and that was a huge deal for our little guy who has battled social anxiety since he was one. Praising God for his goodness.
Still over here tending my garden like it isn’t almost October.
Just had to share this sweet picture of William.
It’s been a simple life over here lately. Just enjoying the last of the warm days together. I love these three so much.
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May you treasure Christ ever more. <3
Brittany Lee
I’ve been feeling this weakness lately--especially in light of being a limited human being with only so much time and energy. Grateful for this reminder 💛
What you’ve written about spiritual abuse has resonated with me. It’s hard to not think about the harsh words that came to me from a well respected person in the church.