16 Comments
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Benjamin Vrbicek's avatar

Thanks for sharing this. I remember hearing about some of the hard struggles when you first left, and I’m encouraged to hear the way you found another place to belong in a meaningful way.

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Brittany Allen's avatar

Thanks Benjamin!

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Brooke Shorey's avatar

"Yes, but what if I heal?"

So good.

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Robert Cale's avatar

Brittany, thank you for sharing this. My wife and I just came out of a season where we had to leave a church and were shunned for it, losing our entire community and starting over from scratch. That was last November, and only now are we finally getting settled in a new church home. The Lord was faithful and grew us during that time, but I can deeply relate to the exhaustion and feeling so unsettled. Your words are such an encouragement—thank you for reminding us that God can restore our hearts and give us love for His church again.

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Brittany Allen's avatar

I’m so glad you guys are beginning to settle in. I’m sorry for what you’ve walked through. It’s so painful.

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Allana Walker's avatar

Oh, Brittany, I can't tell you how much this resonated with me. In February, I left a church where I had been serving for almost a year and a half. The departure was sudden and unexpected--I had served on the worship team every single Sunday for over a year, and I had literally just become a member the week before I left. I envisioned myself fellowshipping with that church for years to come, maybe even getting married there.

When God made it clear that I needed to leave, I was heartbroken. I switched to a small country church five minutes down the road from my house, and I cried every single Sunday during worship for a month straight. I simply couldn't hold back my tears. I missed my church family. I missed my friends--namely the young pastoral couple I had grown so close to. Most of all, I missed leading worship.

The pastor at that little country church is a kind, gentle man and an excellent preacher, but the congregation is small and, for the most part, older. I haven't made any friends there, so I've started exploring other churches in my local city to see if I can find a new "home." But it hasn't been easy. I feel so homeless and out of place right now.

Your essay gave me hope. Lord willing, I too will find a new place to call home. Thank you for sharing your experience. It comforts me to know I'm not alone in my grief.

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Brittany Allen's avatar

I’m so sorry. It can be so painful. I believe God will lead you to the exact place he wants to use you, even if it takes time.

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Raju sambattula's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your heart so honestly. I can truly feel the weight of what you have been through. Transitions like that especially when they involve leaving a place you deeply loved are never easy. But I want to encourage you with these words from God's Word The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

He will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58:11)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

It is okay to grieve the loss of your church family and the ministry you loved so much. God sees your tears, and He is holding you tenderly through it all. I truly believe He is leading you toward a new season where you will find community, purpose, and joy again. In the meantime, keep leaning into Him He is the true home that never changes, no matter where life takes us.

I am praying that God brings you the peace, friendship, and belonging your heart longs for. You are not alone in this journey. If you ever want to talk more or pray together, I am here. Blessings and strength to you.

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Allana Walker's avatar

Thank you so much for those kind words, Raju!

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Sam DeCosmo's avatar

This is really encouraging. It’s been about 6 years since we left the church we deeply loved. We still haven’t found a place where our hearts feel truly safe and welcomed but your words give me hope one day we will.

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Corey Evans's avatar

I've been in your shoes before, but God healed me and my family, too.

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Brittany Allen's avatar

Praise the Lord!!

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Abby Jo Thompson's avatar

So good, Brittany. I resonate with this deeply, and I believe we need to speak honestly about this kind of pain—with more regularity and with more grace. Thank you for doing that! 🤎

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Brittany Allen's avatar

Being truthful while also seeking to be gracious about this topic is such a hard balance to strike. Thanks for reading. 🩶

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Martin's avatar

The problem we find is that the more we study God's word the more we find that others have not done so, and are we are isolated by the word of God and the fact that nobody wants to read it or discuss it.

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Brittany Allen's avatar

I haven’t encountered that problem so far, Martin. But I’m sorry that’s been your experience. That’s certainly discouraging.

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