July Recs | vacation envy + a poem on suffering

Do you ever feel like everyone is going on amazing vacations to luxurious places except you and your family? You see the perfectly posed beach pictures and the gorgeous mountains and rivers and think, Man, we can’t even do a staycation this year. Then the mom guilt sets in: My children aren’t getting to make any fun childhood memories. Suddenly a fleeting thought about someone else’s awesome cabin getaway has opened a whole can of fat earthworms. They’re just staring at you like, why did you go and do that? (Do they have eyes? Can they see?)

Now you hate yourself and you hate your circumstances and the way the sin in your heart just came plummeting out.

This is not my usual flavor of envy either. Maybe it’s because I’m tired and a weekend on a lake sounds real nice right about now. Maybe it’s because our 10 year anniversary plans for a romantic getaway came and passed last year unfulfilled. “We’ll see about next year,” we said. But now it’s the next year and instead of arriving somewhere tropical, just the two of us (did I mention we’ve never spent a night away since becoming parents), we are keeping our bottoms in the living room floor, playing legos with our boys. Our sweet boys. My oldest has been begging to go to the beach and asking why we can’t go. He doesn’t understand what “I’m sorry buddy, we can’t afford it” means. And that’s okay—he’s four.

Honestly, I think it’s likely that on top of hemorrhaging money for medical bills and watching our entire savings dwindle away toward that end, we got the news that my husband might lose his job.

But really, all of these things are excuses and there is no excuse for sin. Envy will eat me up. I know it. So I’m repenting daily when the temptation to compare my lot to hers or theirs comes up. God is meeting me here, prompting me to take in the laughter of the boys—to drink up their joy as they splash in our little inflatable pool. They don’t need a vacation to make beautiful childhood memories; I see that now. They are happy with what we have, content with a simple summer at home. Lord, make this true of me too.

—Brittany

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These words though:

“We think that idols are bad things, but that is almost never the case. The greater the good, the more likely we are to expect that it can satisfy our deepest needs and hopes.” — Tim Keller

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Recent Articles, Essays, + Poems:
The Gospel Frees You From the Shame of Sexual Sin on Core Christianity
3 Ways God Uses Rejected Book Proposals on Gospel-Centered Discipleship
What was, What Is, and What is to Come on Substack
That Time I Hid in a Beer Cave on Substack
The Gift of My Body on Substack

From the Archives:
Lessons From My Garden on the blog

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Note: I do not endorse any of the following books, nor do I agree with or promote everything in them.

Books I Finished:
God is Still Good by Katie Faris
Growing Together by Melissa Kruger
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies by Sam Allberry
An Old Money Murder in Mayfair by Sara Rosett
Murder on a Midnight Clear by Sara Rosett

Current Reads:
Beautiful Freedom by Stacy Reaoch
Upon Waking by Jackie Hill Perry
The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
How to Stay Married by Harrison Scott Key
The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson
Wonderfully Made by John W. Kleinig
A Quiet Mind to Suffer With by John Andrew Bryant
Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker
Counterfeit Kingdom by Holly Pivec
The Soul in Paraphrase by Leland Ryken
Into His Presence by Tim Chester

What I Recommend:
Song: Still Waters (Psalm 23) by Leanna Crawford

Articles, Poems, and Essays I Liked:
Mom, Seminary is for You, Too by Ashley Anthony
Mental Illness is Not a Sign of Immature Faith by Lara d’Entremont

What I’m loving lately (*some affiliate links):
- I’m on a mission to find pjs that are cute but still as comfy as my ratty t shirts. I love these ones from amazon and really want to get more. I grabbed the Nile Blue color but I’m eyeing the pink.
- If you need a giant tomato cage like me, I’ve got you. You can build on to it as your tomato plant grows.
- If you follow me on IG you likely know I’ve been on a sourdough struggle bus. I’m happy to report that this recipe/technique has been a game-changer for me in the hot, humid weather of Ohio. In addition to switching my process up, I’ve also lessened the amount of water in the dough.

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Life Lately:

1. I’ve been soaking up the summer with reading, puzzles, and gardening. Lord willing, I have some big writing projects in the coming months so I’m just seeking to enjoy things I love with my free time.

2. Alllllll the bouquets in every corner of my house. I expanded my cut-flower garden this year and have zero regrets.

3. Much of my time is spent identifying weird bugs on my plants and waging war on the bad ones.

4. My guys. I love them so. (They all look angry but I promise they’re not haha.)

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I’d love to hear about you! What is a book you’ve read recently that you loved or a recipe you’ve been devouring? Tell me in the comments!

May you treasure Christ ever more. <3

Brittany Lee